


Ryden One Shots

by 2007petewentz



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-23
Updated: 2015-09-23
Packaged: 2018-04-23 02:42:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4859978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2007petewentz/pseuds/2007petewentz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Will post links from the prompts I find</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It's Going To Be Ok

**Author's Note:**

> I Am Sorry.
> 
> While I Struggle With Writers Block For My Main Fic That I Have At The Moment, I Write These To Fill The Gaping Hole In My Heart From Being Such A Trash Can. 
> 
> Enjoy This #RydenSuffer That Wrote In Like 10 Minutes 
> 
> Prompt From: http://bluesarggnt.tumblr.com/post/110467148603/here-have-some-aus-as-if-there-arent-enough-on 
> 
> Prompt: 'I thought you were the weak one of this friend group but your whole life just went to complete shit around you and somehow you're still acting the same so if you want to be weak you can be around me'

"Ryan." I said, frowning.

 

Ryan continues plucking at the guitar strings, struggling with the chord he's been working on for days.

 

"What, Brendon?" Ryan asked, seemingly annoyed.

 

"You're gonna have to talk about it sometime." I whispered sadly.

 

Ryan strummed the guitar fast and loud, causing one of the strings to snap and make a horrible twanging sound. Ryan cursed and set the guitar down, walking to the other side of the studio, sitting down at the piano.

 

"You can't just ignore me." I said.

 

Ryan didn't say a word, and started to play the opening to Camisado, which caused my heart to lurch. 

 

"Dammit, Ryan! Listen to me!" I snapped, bursting from my chair.

 

The piano stopped and Ryan put his hands in his lap. I strode to the piano bench where he was sitting and took him by the shoulder, twisting him to face me.

 

His face was blank, a dull look in his eyes.

 

"What is it Brendon? I've told you I'm fine." He said, shrugging my hands off his shoulders.

 

"You cannot be fine, Ryan Ross. Two months ago your father went into a coma and a week ago you decided to take him off life support. The funeral is today, Ryan. How could you be ok?" I asked, sitting down next to him on the bench.

 

"I'm fine, really. I've told you guys a thousand times. My dad was a drunk bastard, and he got what was coming to him." Ryan shrugged, tapping his foot on the ground.

 

We stayed silent for a few minutes before I finally spoke.

 

"You know, I thought you were the weak one in this band, but your whole life has gone to shit in a matter of months and you've been acting completely normal." I paused, my mouth trying to form more words.

 

"So... if you want.. no.. if you need, you can let it out. You can be weak if you need to be, Ryan." I whispered finally, putting my arm around him.

 

His breathing grew ragged and he let out a small wimper. I wrapped my other arm around him and made him stand up. I wrapped my arms around him and held him tight. We stood for a minute as he cried silently before he spoke.

 

"I-I want to fucking hate him, Brendon. I-I want to hate him and forget about him, because he's been so shitty to me all my life. He didn't accept my career in music and he didn't accept me as his son. I want to fucking laugh. I want to laugh, but I can't." Ryan sobbed, clinging to me.

 

I inhaled his scent, kissing the hair on his head as I held him tightly.

 

"I know, baby. I know you do. It's gonna be ok, I'm here for you. We're all here for you." My voice quivered, and tears welled up in my eyes. 

 

"Why did he love the alcohol more than me, Brendon? Was I not good enough?" Ryan asked.

 

"No, baby. Don't you fucking say that, baby. You. Are. Perfect. Do not blame this on yourself." I hissed, raking my fingers through his hair.

 

His sobs grew ragged as he gasped for breath, holding onto me more tightly.

 

"Why does it hurt so much?" He weeped. His fingers dug into my back and he gripped my shirt in his fists.

 

And the worst part about this was, I couldn't even give him an answer.


	2. À Tout le Monde

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was inspired to write this after watching the show The Returned. Warning: Major character death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize in advance.  
> ~2007petewentz

Brendon couldn't breathe. 

 

He couldn't breathe, because there he stood, staring down at Ryan Ross, who didn't move an inch. Brendon's fingers gripped the edge of the metal table, begging to inch closer, just enough to touch-

 

"Sir? Sir, I need you to make a positive identification for the ME." The assistant sounded impatient, tapping his foot incessantly against the linoleum floor.

 

"You know, I know you'd rather be on break stuffing your face with a Big Mac right now, but that is m-my best friend, and not to mention boyfriend lying on that table. So could you maybe show a little fucking compassion?" Brendon gritted out, tears welling in his eyes.

 

"So you are making a positive identification?" is all the assistant said.

 

Ultimately, tears started streaming down his face, dropping down onto the black body bag that held his Ryan. 

 

"Yeah... it's him." He whispered.

 

******************  
Two months later...

 

Brendon laid on his bed, staring at the blank ceiling ahead. The clock next to him ticked loudly, filling up the emptiness in his brain. He didn't know how long he been there, staring, but his brain felt so numb it didn't really matter. And when the door to his room opened, he didn't react.

 

"Hey, it's Spencer... you wanna come downstairs and watch Family Guy with Jon and I?" Spencer questioned carefully. 

 

Spencer stood in the entryway frozen, unsure on whether or not to cross the invisible line that seemed to separate him from his best friend. 

 

Brendon sniffed a bit, not looking up to see the worried look that had settled on Spencer's face. Brendon was aware it was there, but he just couldn't look Spencer in the eyes with out breaking down. It was better to just tune everyone out; that way he didn't have to face the inevitable truth.

 

"No... that's ok. You and Jon have fun." Brendon's voice was hollow in a way, containing none of the vibrancy it once had.

 

Spencer felt sick to his stomach. He could hear how broken Brendon was, just from uttering a few words. He didn't know what to do. The accident, it was so unexpected. They weren't prepared for it; not when they were just getting a taste of virtue itself. But all Spencer could do was cough, staring at his friend lie on his back, motionless. 

 

"Ok, bud... I'm here if you need to talk." 

 

And with that, Spencer shut the door and left. Brendon continued to stare at the ceiling, when the sudden realization hit. Nothing was ever going to be the same again. 

 

"I can't live without him." Brendon whispered to no-one.

 

His mind reconnected to his body, and he jumped up, exhaling deeply. He knew what he had to do. 

 

He grabbed his jacket and his car keys, rushing down the stairs where he found Jon and Spencer snuggled up together on the couch. They looked up in surprise. Brendon gave them both a small smile, grabbing his beanie off of the coffee table.

 

"Well guys, I- um... I'm gonna go get coffee with Pete. Text me if you need anything from the store or whatever." He chirped, giving them a small wave before exited the living room.

 

Jon gave Spencer a bewildered look but Spencer just shrugged, wincing when the front door slammed shut. 

 

Brendon took the long route to his destination, savoring the moonlight that poured over his skin as he drove down the dark road. The road seemed to last forever, twisting this way and that, until finally he reached the top. He parked his car in the middle of the small outlook, opening the car door and climbing out. He gazed up, his eyes adjusting to the star lit sky. 

 

The view almost made him change his mind. But the sound of crashing waves below drew him out of his trance, as well as the salty undertones that invaded his nose. He took a tentative step towards the edge. It still loomed quite a bit away from him, but it soon slowly lured him closer and closer towards the edge.

 

'You'll get to see him again. Touch him again. Kiss him again.'

 

The sweet voice whispered in the back of his head. And suddenly, there he was, on the edge, teetering back and forth between the shadows that called for him, and the living. He breathed in deeply, closing his eyes. One step, and he'd be free. But just as he lifted his foot off of the ground to take this step, he heard a voice.

 

"What do you think you're doing?!" The voice demanded.

 

Brendon paused, opening his eyes. Did somebody just speak to him? He breathed out quickly, turning around with his mouth open, ready to come up with whatever excuse that came to mind. But he stopped, his mouth still ajar. 

 

Ryan Ross stood ten feet away, his arms crossed. Brendon blinked twice. Then three times. And with each blink, he still saw the tall boy, a frown etched upon his face. Brendon shook his head, staring at the figure.

 

"You're not real." He said softly.

 

"Yes I am. It's me, Ryan. Your boyfriend?" Ryan took a step forward and Brendon froze.

 

"Stay back. I'll fucking jump." He threatened, although it wasn't hardly a threat considering it was still going to happen.

 

"No, wait! Listen, I don't know what you're thinking, baby. Look, I was out drinking with Gabe and William last night. We had a little too much to drink, but I'm pretty sure Gabe didn't drive." Ryan tried to explain, a sad look resonating on his face.

 

Brendon shook, his brain trying to compartmentalize everything that was happening. Ryan took another step closer.

 

"Look, please don't be mad, baby. Why are you standing so close to the edge? You're gonna get hurt if you're not careful." Another step closer. 

 

Brendon's breathing picked up, his eyes starting to water.

 

"You don't understand. You're not supposed to be here." Brendon murmured, staring at the other.

 

Ryan blinked a few times, processing the words.

 

"Listen, babe. I don't know what I did, but I'll make it up to you." Ryan spoke softer now.

 

"No. You're supposed to be dead. We buried you two months ago." Brendon strained, biting his lip to keep back the sob that threatened to escape him.

 

"Did you hit your head or something becau-" 

 

"DAMMIT RYAN ROSS, YOU ARE NOT REAL, YOU ARE NOT... NOT HERE RIGHT NOW. YOU CANNOT BE. I WATCHED THEM SEAL YOUR BODY INTO A CASKET, AND I WATCHED YOU BEING LOWERED INTO THE GROUND." Brendon roared, letting the sob escape him.

 

"Afterwards I sat through the entire wake with people coming up to me, asking me if I was doing alright. How could I have been doing alright?" Brendon shook his head sharply as if to spite the people.

 

"I don't understand." Ryan stuttered, visibly shaking.

 

Brendon let out a few more shaky breaths before he continued to sob, Ryan's almost glowing presence blurred by his tears. 

 

"They say a-a metal pole pierced through your chest. You died instantly, they said. Gabe, h-he was driving. He and William survived." Brendon could feel bile rise up in his throat.

 

Ryan instinctively placed his hand over his chest, looking down. A dull ache bloomed across his chest. Brendon hiccuped, wiping his tears with the sleeve of his jacket.

 

"I'll be with you soon, Ryan." Brendon said.

 

Ryan strode the rest of the distance between them. He attempted to clutch onto Brendon's forearm, but his hand passed through as if he were a spirit. By which, he would be if he could even believe the words Brendon said.

 

"Brendon, please don't say things like that. Everything is okay, just stay here with me." Ryan pleaded, staring into Brendon's eyes.

 

Brendon gazed back, his eyes hollow once again.

 

"The thing is, you're not here on Earth. And wherever you really are right now, is where I need to be. I hope you understand that." Brendon smiled softly.

 

He then closed his eyes once again, finally taking one unfaltering step back. The wind blew hard against Brendon as he fell, and the wind seemed to scream loudly in his ears. The sound of the crashing waves grew closer and closer, until he ultimately could hear them no more.

**Author's Note:**

> This Is Shit And Im Suffering Sorry


End file.
